I have recently been inspired to attempt to write a blog. Having never done one before, I'm a little bit at a loss for words so please bear with me if I ramble a bit.
Starting over with a new beginning. To understand that I guess a little background is necessary. I am a former Marine who married at the age of 20 and divorced at the age of 22. Obviously, my marriage skills were not as good as my combat ones. But I did put my heart into our relationship. The problem, it seems, was not the effort I put into it, but the person I chose to invest my effort in. Needless to say, my choice was less than perfect. I won't go into the gory details as there is no sense in opening old wounds.
Since my divorce, I have made a few attempts to start over. Some good, some not so good, one disastrous. All my attempts seemed to yield the same results. Then one day it occurred to me that my attempts were not faulty, only my choice of partner was. I was picking my partners with the same criteria I had used in all my failed attempts. So the the theory was sound, but the implementation was not. It has been almost seven years since my last attempt. That one, ironically, while being a failed relationship turned into a best friend.
I recently have started a new relationship. Having finally learned the lessons of my previous failures, I decided to seek someone out that did not fit the mold I had used previously. I went completely against the grain of my previous misadventures. This time I had a more open idea of who I was looking for. Not only that but I decided to be far bolder than I had in the past. I must admit that the results have completely astounded me thus far.
A few months ago I met a woman. She was not the type of woman I am usually attracted to. In all honesty, I really didn't think I had a snowball's chance in you know where with her. I have never been so happy in my life to admit that I was wrong. It started quite innocently enough. Simple talks on Facebook turned into long ones. These lead to phone calls. These calls sometimes lasted for hours. I knew something was happening but was scared to act for fear of screwing it up as I usually did. So I did not rush in blindly as I previously had. A little background on her I guess is necessary. I shall call her Belle. Hailing from the south, it only seems proper to call her that. Belle is a amazing woman. She is a widow, her husband having passed away after a long sickness. She stayed with him to the very end. She has endured something that most people will never understand. She has fought long and hard to put her life back together again ever since. She has developed a strength that I have seen in only a handful of people in my life. And she did it all alone, having her whole family turn on her. She is smart, funny, beautiful, and brave.
Now being cautiously optimistic of my chances, knew I had to be very careful with her. Not that she was fragile...far from it. She has a steel to her that never ceases to amaze me. My caution was due more to a desire not to cause her any more pain than she already had endured. I didn't want to rush her into anything. I was pleasantly surprised to find that she was looking for a new start as well. It has been slow going but we are making headway. I am able to tell you in all honesty that I love her with all my heart and soul. I do not know what she sees in me, but I am sure glad she does. For both of us it is a chance for there to be a "we" instead of just an "I". It is a scary thing to open your heart again after so long. That is something we both recognize and we are dealing with it together. We are on this road together and despite the bumps that get in our way, we are determined to make this work. And we do, everyday. Everyday we do everything we can to help each other through our lives. Everyday the love we have becomes a little stronger. Everyday I find a peace with her I have never known. Everyday I live with the knowledge that we are starting over with a new beginning. Only this time, we are starting it together.
